First Draft-10/11/17, 0053. 25th Writing.
Touchy. Very touchy indeed. Cancer is one of those magic words that possess such power, inflicting a sense of terror, melancholy and hopelessness. With no reliable cure at hand, the suffering it forces upon our species is endless. It truly is a dark part of life, yet an unavoidable avenue we all detour down. The chances that you will experience the plague of cancer is incredibly high, and I merely don’t mean your physical chances. It’s the chance that it will infect your frame of the world, altering it for the worst. I could argue that you would rather carry the burden yourself. An interesting argument to pose, and maybe illogical, but I would rather be consumed by the disease than to watch a loved one suffer its horrors. Watch the life be sucked out of them, mutating them into a lifeless form, whilst you can only stand by and watch. A mere spectator of pain; watching a loved one hurt is where true pain lies, especially when you can’t do a thing while their eyes scream out for help. Yes, out of the blue, cancer can change your life forever, and it seems to be probable it will affect everyone at least once during their time on earth.
Let us consider it an inevitable part of life. Then how should we approach it? Shall we wait with faith that the burden will never be sprang upon us? This seems to be the approach most of us go for. We do not like to consider the dark detour, and understandably so. Those thoughts can drive one mad, truly. They will consume you and send you down a different (worse) dark path; namely, nihilism. This is the obvious answer, but practicality is lacking. Nihilism may ease the pain that cancer can serve up, but at what cost? The list is long, but for me sacrificing a meaningful life in hope of never experiencing such pain is too much. Through the nihilistic life style, you can deny deep connections. This diminishes the chance of cancer erupting your life, as the only way it can truly hurt you is if it knocks on your own door. Therefore, it is an option, and if your ultimate goal is to avoid the hardship of cancer then it is a viable solution. But the fact of the matter is, that should not be our ultimate goal. If one was to live in this manner, they would be cutting off every source of life known to man, as everything seems to be a cause of cancer in our days. Not to mention it would be a life with zero meaningful relationships; ZERO?! I can imagine that goes down a treat.
Instead, we should consider some more practical approaches to cancer. Shit, it is tough. To me, it must start with acknowledgment. Acknowledge the fact that it could interrupt your life at any moment, acknowledge it is going to be one of the toughest battles you will fight, acknowledge the possibility of defeat. We must not live in a bubble and forthrightly deny these facts. If we do, then when cancer strikes and we are not prepared, the damage will be tenfold more catastrophic. Through acknowledgment, we can prepare to dodge the thrown daggers of cancer. This is just the first step though.
Next, visualise it. Just as with anything, visualising something can make it easier. Look inside. Imagine your best friend being diagnosed with cancer. How are you going to act? It’s hard; impossible some would say. But keep trying, force yourself to imagine the worst. Your best mate rings you up, “fuck, I got some bad news b”. You’re probably expecting something completely different from the spine-tingling bomb they are about to drop. What do you say when they drop it? Cut the shit, you both know how serious cancer is. Although, there are more aggressive forms, so maybe discovering all the details is your first move. This way you can analyse the severity and plan your next move. Be wary though, you are no expert, so don’t try and act like one. Don’t tell them things you do not know, they need a friend right now more than anything. Consider how you would want them to act if the roles were reversed. Still tough, right? That god forsaken future where you must suffer cancer is hard to visualise. You don’t really know how you would want anyone to act. But why is this? It’s because we don’t think about it. Psychological preparation goes a long, long way. It can help you handle not just cancer, but anything you please. Some things are easy to imagine, some things you even take pleasure in imagining. Some are bone chilling and some you avoid at all costs. I think moving cancer into the ‘bone chilling’ category rather than the ‘avoid at all costs’ category is a positive move. In fact, I believe the ‘avoid at all costs’ cache should always be empty.
You also must factor in your proclivity to be wrong. You might think you have it all sorted and know how to handle the crisis, (hahaha, if only life were that easy). No, you must be ready to be wrong; it’s actually highly probable. As soon as one starts to believe they have a perfect solution to the debacle cancer causes, you can be sure they are not ready for it, at all. The road is full of danger, with unexpected dragons lurking in the shadows. There is no way that you will ever be fully ready to handle cancer, but that does not mean one should not try. At the very least, realise it is a high possibility (acknowledgment).
Something worth considering is that you are not the only one who is effected by the turmoil. There is a chain reaction of pain when one gets cancer, rippling out through their social circles. Those in the victim’s inner circle are the focal point of disaster, and the damage spreads from there, just like an earthquake. If you find yourself lucky enough to be part of someone’s inner circle, ask yourself, what can you do to lessen the suffering that has infected the air? Well, I’d say most of the team will be moving into a pure state of grief. But who is this all about? Who is suffering the most? It’s all about the person who has to carry the burden. They are the one who have been condemned to the deepest hell. So how can you make their life any easier? How can you alleviate the suffering? Obviously, you can’t physically remove it, but you can help on the psychological side of things. I think this comes from strength of mind. Being able to put your own worries aside for the greater good of the situation is one of the most honourable acts of humanity. It is no longer about you, something with more importance has rose. A hard thing to do, as deep down we are selfish beings, more or less. I view those who cannot hold themselves together for the one who is in greater pain, selfish. Haha, that’s harsh. But do you really think that they want to see the pain they are inflicting on their loved ones? No fool. They are too busy being shit scared of what is going to happen, they shouldn’t have to worry about your feelings. Imagine their thought process. It would be a jungle, full of animals, forced to share territories in a diminishing rainforest; utter chaos. All order has been abolished, nothing makes sense, but you do know you’re on the verge of death. That has to fuck with the sick one psychologically. Help them swing through that jungle of chaos. It’s not going to be an easy manoeuvre, but what choice do you have? Time to see who thrives in unforeseen chaos, that archetypal hero that we all know and respect.
Jordan Peterson gives us some recommended actions when such a tragedy strikes and ends fatally, which I think are worth the mention. Turn to the people you have left that you love. They will help you in this time of crisis; they can be your rock. Don’t feel guilty about grieving. Everyone grieves and we all need help responding to such emotions when they appear, despite our stubborn unwillingness to accept help. Find out how your loved ones can help you move through it and let them know how they can help. They should be ready to so, as they will be relying on you to be there in a parallel situation. Try not to be overly bitter, because it will lead to hate. Don’t let the tragedy take over your life and turn you toward nihilism. Look on the bright side (clearly that will be easier said than done, but for your own sake you must find the light in the dark). And finally, give plenty of time for the wound to heal. Be aware that it may take you a year to be able to operate at a suitable level in society. You may never get over it, but you will learn to live with it. That is the key, you must try to move forward and get on with life despite the miserable situation. It will never be easy, but you are never alone, so make sure you don’t isolate yourself (your inner circle will provide sanity).
I don’t know what else I can say about the horrors of cancer. Be aware of its danger, but do not live in fear of it. Be that strong person that we all look up to, the one that can handle the impossible moment, the champion of chaos, the master of the crisis. Be that person, want to be that person. For that could be the greatest gift you can ever offer.
I’m scared this is going to make the bro die tomorrow. Shit, the old real-world slap. Well, nothing can be done, what happens happens. Be strong!
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