First Draft-27/05/2017, 0100. 2nd Writing.
Jordan Peterson refers to chaos as the unknown. Unknown territory that can be fatal, but ultimately, it is a place where one’s character ascends to a higher level. Without chaos, we cannot grow. Without chaos, we cannot update our model/perception of the world. Without chaos, there is no order. Chaos surrounds us; we are entrenched in the confines of chaos. I bet that half the people you see walking down the street are in a state of chaos. The severity of that chaos is another question. One might have just got a niggly parking ticket, inflicting a negative change in their preconceived day, as now they must go out of what their way to alleviate the financial burden; a minor adjustment and an easy fix, for most. Whereas another may have just discovered a family member has terminal cancer; a much more radical change to their frame of the world, which is going to greatly upset their current state of mind and send them into a deep form of chaos. It would seem the deeper the chaos, the harder it is to return, but simultaneously, greater development potential. It can be compared to the old “high risk, high return”, where risk is replaced with “Chaos”.
Sometimes going into the chaos, is a voluntary task. You know it will make you better, but you are also aware that it is going to be a painful process. This is the preferred method of indulging in chaos. For example, telling a dear friend that they must stop abusing a drug. You know that you should tell them, but it’s going to be a difficult task and must be handled with caution. I mean, who the hell knows how that drugo could react! It could result in the end of a friendship, which hurts a lot (dependent on how much you value the friendship I guess).
In saying all this, chaos is an inevitable part of life and accepting that, I believe, is a good move, as it can help you prepare yourself for it’s intruding nature. I’m not trying to say that you can prepare for an exact event, as we aren’t blessed with impeccable foresight (or cursed, however you want to look at it), but being aware that something bad is going to happen in general and knowing it will test your will to survive, that is a frame of mind to indulge. Coming to this conclusion, in the right headspace, is beneficial, as it prepares you for the dragons dwelling in the unknown. If you discover this in the wrong headspace however, you can bet your last dollar you will become incessantly worried and panic. In this state, your hope has been tampered, and you give yourself up to the ultimate chaos, where you shall remain (AKA the dragons get you). We must accept the fact that it is possible for people to get stuck there with no hope of return, it’s real world shit. But, in the right headspace, preparing yourself for chaos can make the encounter less painful and make for a [more] prompt recovery. To draw from a Peterson exampler, ‘preparing for the unforeseen event of your mother dying, is beneficial.’ This suggests you should internalise the situation, even just a little tiny bit (I know, it’s hard), and you can think about what would be the best way for you to act to diminish the swirling pain in that tornado of chaos. On top of that, you can think about how you can actually be of use in a god-awful situation such as your mother dying. So, chaos=inevitable, best prepare for it, but don’t dwell on it. (more on this in my previous blog ‘How to Handle Cancer’)
But what would be the deepest chaos one can fall into? It’s hard to know. Being only 23 I don’t have the required experience/knowledge to share the world’s problems first hand with you. But from what I do know, I would say it has something to do with love. Loving someone is a very dangerous/risky business, as you are giving yourself up to this person, along with your individual frame of the world, in exchange for a new shared frame of the world. You completely expose yourself to them, leaving yourself vulnerable. So, if you are betrayed by someone you truly love and trust, you best believe you will descend to a deep, dark chaos. Everything you thought you knew is now questionable, or as Peterson says, everything that wasn’t relevant has now become relevant. Your axiomatic frame of the world must be interrogated. You must question everything you presupposed in the past, the present and the future, as you have no idea which way is up. This type of chaos clings onto people until they die, or even worse, digs the grave for them and buys the tombstone. It comes with a certain victimhood that is oh so hard to shake off. I suppose in this sense, love is trust. Without it, how can a relationship be? Every lie is another dagger into the exposed victim that they carry with them and there is only so much room for so many daggers. Some are larger than other, but they all add up in the long run. Trust is something that you should be careful with. It is a tool that can be used to help stave off those monstrous dragons in the deep, dark forms of chaos. Now sometimes chaos is unpreventable, such as natural disasters, but if used correctly, trust is something that can stop the potential chaos of betrayal (which I argue is one of the hellish forms that can be produced). The problem is, trust is not as trivial as we would like. Malevolence and deception are all around us, so use it wisely.
When I refer to love as chaos, I am not referring to the chaos that it can cause, I am simply referring to love itself. Love is unknown territory. Making a conscious effort to date that cute girl down the road can be the first step into this territory. Although, it is normally a conscious decision which initiates the process, it is an unconscious one that decides, “Holy shitballs. I totz love this person.” You cannot simply choose to love someone, I have tried to do just that and it didn’t work. An awesome chick that I knew was great, nothing wrong with her (wrong as in nothing should scare me away and sound the alarms), but something was just not right. So, if love is chaos, then I think it should be analysed as best you can. You must be prepared for the horrible betrayal of it, you must be ready to fall unknowingly into its hands, you must be prepared to make changes. It’s sooooo hard so so so hard, and I know that trying to predict the unknown is impossible but hey, no harm in trying. This is the fun part of love though! The fact that it is new ground you are treading on fills the air with excitement, the feeling of potential. The fact neither party knows where it is heading, you are on the same rocking boat trying to make it through the chaos alive. Chaos is where fun resides, it’s where life resides, because that is where love resides. But like I say, it’s also where the dragons reside. That’s why internalizing situations is a fantastic way to prepare yourself for these sorts of things, as you can act out the whole event in your head and see how you think it will play out. From there, you can choose which action you think would best suit the situation/chaos. It doesn’t mean to say that your right, but at least you have tried to prepare for it and have some sort of strategy to play from.
I’m meant to be sleeping cause I’m getting up to watch arsenal in the fa cup final at 4.30am, but, alas, I could not enter the world of dreams. Sitting listening to some beautiful classical music and writing this lil number. I’ll leave you with a poem;
Love is chaotic,
Love is unknown.
Love is danger,
but love will atone.
Love is betrayal,
Love is trust.
Love is change,
So prepare to adjust.