First Conceived: 13/08/18, 2130
I sit in a world of memories. Most find it peculiar, the way in which I have decorated my room. A sense of overwhelming order catches the on looking party off guard. Their eyes say, ‘Why?’ Their smirk says, ‘This is fuckin weird.’ Fair, it is reasonably unusual I guess. It serves as a great orderliness compass. For those who are on the lower end of the spectrum find it unbearable; the faces encircling you on stepping into my shoebox. While those who live at the other extreme, cannot help but notice it is not perfectly measured; not perfectly straight, not perfectly aligned. My wall of photos had a motive behind it however, more than one.
Firstly, I wanted my room to be a mix of chaos and order (surprise). Sticking to my financially Jewish ways, I was not about to go and spend any extra coin to manifest this. No no no! We got all the visuals we need right here. Therefore, I made do with what I had, namely, a reasonably large collection of developed photos (which is rare in itself now days). I made the conscious decision to have the photos roughly in order, (partly due to laziness, partly because I think it represents where I live on the orderliness spectrum). The photos were lined up (by no means square) and placed around my room until the walls were made up of neat(ish) rows of memories. This was the first time I had conceptualised the putting together of my room in such a manner. I contemplated Peterson’s idea of “putting your room in perfect order.” However, I chose to go against this option. My room is my creative hub and I feel perfect order impairs creativity; there needs to an element of chaos, as creativity resides in the realm of chaos. Nevertheless, Peterson’s guidelines were the motivating force; I just altered them for what I believe is best for me. It was not until I had put my room together that I discovered the Tedtalk by OKgo (Shot Meredith). Enlightenment was the medicine that day, as the lead singer (names are hard) spoke of his old high school room. Complete and utter chaos; that was his method. Walls covered with whatever he could get his hands on, cluttering his brain to fuel his creativity, more or less. Although, his room was far too chaotic for my liking, I would have gone crazy in such an environment. Regardless, that dude helped me see the formulation of ones room through an alternative lens, compared to the Peterson eye. It depends what you want to use your room for I suppose, not to mention the individual’s proclivity towards order and creativity in general. The set up I currently have going feels… right. To articulate why/how is the struggle at hand, but I think it is meant to be more of a feeling than an articulation. Nevertheless, the best articulation I can muster up is stolen from the bros Yin and Yang. My room gives me a sense of balance between chaos and order, my correct balance. This allows me to feel fuelled whilst indulging in creative enterprise, yet it does not infringe upon my comfort level.
Another euphony that arose as a consequence of setting up my room was how much I like photos, no love photos, get it. Traditional, yet revolutionary. Distorted, yet beautiful. I have never been cognisant of this until now. We take them for granted, as with most things that loosen their restrictions on accessibility. It makes me ponder, what did people think when photos were first available to the public? How did they react to the advancement? It must have blown their minds! I have no idea how they are so clear-cut now, or how the simple press on my iPhone has the ability to capture an intimate moment, ready for future contemplation. Ultimately, another wonderful advancement from the human species I would say. Everyone can indulge in the beauty of photography, a gift that changes reality as we know it. Back to my room. As I sit and go about my work, my mind naturally gets distracted for short segments of time. This is when I usually have a glance around my room and lock eyes with a particular photo. There is no reason why I lock with a certain photograph; some seem to draw me in more than others however (eye alignment will play a role in that too no doubt). Once locked, a flurry of sensations take over me. The photo is served with the associated emotions related to that specific moment; the captured emotion. All this occurs in the blink of the eye however, before I quickly draw my attention back to whatever task was at hand initially.
I then realized just how powerful photos are. Why? Then it struck me: they are vehicles of time. Unbounded by the ticking clock that runs our life, each photo is frozen on a particular moment that you once experienced. The good, the bad and the ugly, whatever that moment was, it has set as pixelated concrete. When I look at a given photo, my mind time travels back into that moment. I contemplate what happened at the time, or better, I relive that moment. You may ask, “Why don’t you just watch a video?” It’s not the same! Photos are superior I believe, hear me out. Videos do not produce the same emotional response on me. The video does all the hard work for you; it is less rewarding for a memory to be played to you, rather than by you. A photo will keep your memory alive, it will test your imagination through the effort exerted trying to conjure up how that moment went down and why it was picture worthy. When you remember, you really do feel those emotions once again because you worked to unlatch them. Along that line of thought, photos are more like a smell than a visual stimulation I believe. A snippet of time in the life of you. I suppose the feeling could be equated to those of de ja vu (Minus the confusion). Maybe more correctly referred to as nostalgia; a very powerful emotion (is nostalgia a certain emotion?). I could sit down for days on end, contemplating each photo and getting those feels flowing just for kicks.
I like to use a crash bandiquet analogy to sum it all up. Do you remember how you can go through those portals? Each portal represents a different level in the game with different challenges; a snippet of the larger goal to complete the game. I think of each photo as one of those portals. Each photo represents a level of my life that was accompanied by its own unique set of challenges, emotions and people. They have all contributed to the person I am today, and part my ultimate goal: to live a good life. Some levels were too hard and so you had to get your mate over to do it for you. Some were your favourites, where you felt aligned with the game, moving through the level with ease. Some you are still looking for that final crystal, but photos allow you to keep that search alive, for there is always something you missed in a memory. And just like the levels on Crash, photos display a progress statistic on how far you have come, how much you have grown and what you have to do next.
Jaah, 2215
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