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  • Writer's pictureScruffy Chinwags

How To Deal With New Flat Mates

First concieved: 11/03/20, 2300




Kiaora team. Calling my four power heads together today in a discussion about the adjustment period that goes hand in hand when your living situation changes, honing in on the personnel adjustment particularly. What’s the thoughts DAWK?

 

The Witch snapped up the light. “New flat mates? Fuck Yes! I was getting bored shitless of those other ones. This is gunna through a spanner in the works! Is there gunna be a house party? Surely! What are they like? I hope they like to get loooose. You damn well know that the best way to incorporate new people into your life is through drugs! Get wrecked with them, break those barriers straight away, that is the way you get most comfortable with new people. Weed and alcohol are best, they give you the power to expose yourself in a careless way, and make you way more interesting. Hell, all of your friendships are built on them! It’s time to reset, dust off the cobwebs and have some fuckin fun! You don’t want to come across as a tight, downer who doesn’t like to have fun like captain kill joy, The Devil. You only get one chance to make a first impression, so don’t fuck it up. That’s what I reckon anyway, you gotta make the relationship into a friendship as soon as possible or else they will be boring and awkward. Ewww. The last thing we want is to be a stranger in our own fuckin house! No no, we have tried it that way. Let’s get high with them and experiment, say yes, and try some new shit! Yusss, I’ve been waiting for this reset!”

 

The Witch ran away in pure ecstasy; change is something she always desired. The Angel calmly took her seat and began. “A ball of energy my counter half. I must say, she spoke some sense on this occasion. This is a chance for you to rejuvenate your life, and set your beautiful home up with a new team. In that sense, I think you must adopt the hospitality skills of your exquisite mother and welcome the new comers with open arms. Your goal should be to make them feel comfortable in a new home, a shared home. Take the extra time out from your schedule to sit down and simply talk; you are aware by now that the power of conversing is unrivalled. I am sure you are also aware the power of listening goes hand-in-hand with this. It is a chance for you to practice those skills and learn, for everyone has something benevolent to offer. The adjustment process will also ultimately open new doors. It will offer the chance to pursue experiences in which you would have never been exposed to otherwise. People are the most complex critters in the universe, and they all influence one another. Let these new comers influence you in a way that will help you explore personality, explore being, and explore yourself. That is, let them feel like you are someone they can openly share with. This is when a true bond is formed. Do you know how that all starts my child? With you. If you want people to share with you, take the first step and share with them. Open yourself up. Let them discover a piece of your soul, a piece the everyday person would not have the pleasure of uncovering. The favour will be returned; there is a social currency when it comes to ones exposed vulnerabilities. It is not until the relationship is formed, which you have successfully done with the majority of your previous roommates, that opportunities will arise. It all starts with you opening yourself, and welcoming these people into the home in a loving and curious manner.”

 

The Wise King was ready to add his two cents. “Ahh the change in personnel. As much as this can damage a system, it is the opportunity to construct a new and improved system. Don’t be frightened of this, I know how daunting the prospect of change is. Nevertheless, it is a requirement in being, whether we like it or not. In situations such as this, I believe it is on you to make the alteration positive. The most important aspect in meeting these new housemates is to be up front. Don’t hide who you are or how you operate. Enlighten them to the activities that fulfil you and when you partake in said activities. Bring to light how and when you eat. Let them know your sleeping cycle. Make them aware of the level of order you prefer within the household and all of your other day-to-day chores. Establish what you expect of them as housemates, and ask for their thoughts on the matter to all of the above in return. The time to inaugurate a set of house rules is now and you want the new comers to be involved in the reconfiguration process. All of the minor inconveniences that have burdened you from flat mates of the past need to be addressed. Not taking care of their dirty dishes? Too loud after a certain time? Robbing your favourite snacks? Whatever it may be, let them know my boy. The longer you wait to have this discussion with the new comers, the harder it will become to integrate them into your reality. Additionally, make sure you offer them a sense of stability. It can be hard for the new comers to feel at home initially. You must welcome them into their new abode. This all extends from being up front with them from the word go.”

 

The Devil was fired up. “What do you mean? New flatties? What do you mean! I am not for this. Not in the slightest! Why do you have to do that? We have been moving along with such productivity, and we had just settled into a finely tuned system, why the change? You imbecile! That fucks everything up you realise? We cannot handle a jar in the system right now; it is going to throw us off course. All the momentum, vanished before our eyes. Not good. Not good! Ok Ok.. Ok I’m relaxed. Ok. Fuck sake. So what are we going to do? No, we are not going to welcome them into our life; that is ridiculous. That would only push us further off course. We need to assert that we are extremely introverted, yes, that is it! That way, we have a get out of integration card. We play that game; we are not interested in them, and there is nothing in us of interest. Keep to yourself and do not rouse their curiosity! Use your room; that is where you love to work anyway. Use your headphones and block out the potential for conversation. Do not try to ‘get to know them’ and only give them the bare minimum when they pest with their questions; they will learn not to ask eventually. You can do this and keep the system a float, maybe. Although you will probably fuck it up! We may have to turn to drastic measures. Let us be resentful towards them for no reason consistently. Make them feel uncomfortable around you, and dominate the house. Make your presence known in the public areas from the start to assert that they are yours, that this is your house! Your house, that means your rules. You lay out the rules to them, no compromise (this should be your longest conversation with them.) Then enforce them; if they break one of our laws, let them know, and use your god damn angry face would you? Stop being a coward, stand up and take control of the situation. Control the house! It is the only way to ensure we keep our current progress ticking along in an acceptable fashion. No time for slip-ups or temptations to do misdeeds. Don’t fuck this up boy.”

 

Judge's Response: 23/03/20 2300


“Well. I can draw a lot from all of you here and I believe each perspective will take light in different scenarios. You are right Witch, I do tend to bond over forms of intoxication; it is a sad truth. So I think I will incorporate part of that into my plan to break the ice. However, we cannot emphasis this too much as I want to move away from developing friendships under the guise of intoxication. It’s a good starting point, sure, but I want to use it as just that and only indulge in the substances on certain occasions. Angel, I like the incorporation of my mother’s hospitality; there is something about welcoming people into a home that makes both parties feel at ease and my mother has that on lockdown. But the opening up part is something I struggle with initially. I think I will feel out the vibe first and then see exactly who I am living with. When I get an idea I can contemplate how open I want to be with them. I do hear you though, you are not wrong, I just don’t know if I am comfortable making that move off the bat. Wise King, your right. This is the time to update my schedule and reset the laws of the land, and their opinions should be just as valid as mine should. In saying that, I think the period of adjustment will cause more chaos than I would like and the updated schedule will not just magically fall into place. And that is where I feel you Devil, in that this will fuck with our progress. We were on a roll, but this also doesn’t mean it will stop. The course is allowed to alter, in fact, it needs to alter, and that is something we have to allow for, or else we get stuck in those ruts. I appreciate all of your words today team and they will all be incorporated into my scenario. Dismissed”

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